Hey guys, I'm here to explain how I think I have strong connections with some fictional characters that I have seen / played over the years through my own personal beliefs. Some theories are good and some are bad and this big post should explain how I feel they represent some emotions or moments during my life. It's like they represent Persona's, only I think it's related to "Johari's Window" and "The Looking Glass Effect"!
TOMOYA OKAZAKI - CLANNAD & CLANNAD AFTER STORY (ANIME)
Represents - Life, Outcast, Future
This delinquent outcast is from the deepest Japanese anime I have ever had the pleasure and sorrow to watch, thanks to it's beautiful and captivating plot. Tomoya Okazaki is a sarcastic teenager who after encountering a girl "Nagisa Furukawa" on the way to school and giving her the confidence she needed, would he then be drawn into a world where not only he himself changed his ways but he learned to help others and enjoy his life thanks to his friends he made and most of all help Nagisa with her confidence and dream.
I really enjoyed watching him and I liked his personality but I feel I connected with him due to how tough he felt his life was and how he endured it till the end, through all the joy and unexpected suffering in his time. I felt his pain and although none of his troubles have happened to me (thankfully), I feel this remarkable anime has left a life lesson on my heart and taught me to appreciate what you have and treasure everyone in your life! I still always cry during the last 6 episodes thanks to the legacy he was left with and after the unexpected change in destiny, all was well for him and everyone else in the end!
ANDREW DETMER - CHRONICLE (FILM)
Represents - Anger, Truth Seeker and Escapism
Andrew Detmer is your sad teenage boy in high school who get's bullied, has almost no friends and a sad family life. His only friend is his cousin Matt Garetty who comforts him sometimes through life. Andrew begins using a camera to document his life and later after meeting the school's popular student, Steve Montgomery one night at a party, do all three of them go to a mysterious hole and find something thrilling and mysterious that leaves them with a cool and dangerous power.
Now although Andrew is abused by his father in the film and later went insane through anger and corruption (which I honestly don't relate to), but I do believe if I had the telekinetic power that he and the others have, then that would be a dream come true thanks to being able to pick up items using the mind and most of all fly around to help me escape my troubles and see the wonders of this world from higher points and from a whole new perspective that doesn't make me feel limited. It would also affect my behaviour by abusing my power to mess around and if necessary hurt those that hurt me before or now. But not enough to kill (I know that's too much and morally wrong) but more to threaten and remind people to not take me lightly and I'm not a pushover anymore (like back at school).
GENIE OF THE LAMP - DISNEY'S ALADDIN TRILOGY (FILMS)
Represents Imagination, Spontaneous and Happiness
The loveable Genie Of The Lamp is from the hit Walt Disney's Aladdin classics, the funny blue dude was well known in granting the street rat Aladdin, 3 wishes to help him fall in love with Agrabah's beautiful and picky Princess Jasmine. What I loved so much about Genie is his shape-shifting ability that he undeniably uses when he acts out his references or parodies of the subject/ person he is talking about. I'd love to use that power because of how my mind works and thinks and also because he too uses it to cheer up his friends. It's exactly how I feel whenever words / phrases or similar moments are identical to what's going on right then in the film or in my own life, whether I am talking or just thinking in my head. I would love to have that power because my mind is full of visionary ideas thanks to Aspergers and I too like trying to make my friends and family laugh.
SHINJI IKARI - NEON GENESIS EVANGELION SERIES (ANIME)
REPRESENTS - ATTENTION SEEKER, IMAGINATION AND SELF-ESTEEM
Shinji Ikari is from the famous mecha, apocalyptic anime series - Neon Genesis Evangelion where he is the third child that's tasked with piloting a Giant Robot Evangelion to stop giant monsters known as "Angels" from trying to breach Japan's biggest government base "Nerv" who hold the key to destroying the earth. The boy who is another last resort to saving humanity from the edge of extinction, is another anime character I relate to on some basis like his lack of confidence and responsibility to try his best, though he doesn't feel strong or confident about anything until he's been re-assured and convinced to give it a shot (though in this case, fighting giant monsters isn't related in this context). He also said "sorry" far too much for feeling pathetic. Now believe it or not I was like that during my teenage years but I soon learned to understand that once was enough and that there is no need to apologise for something that isn't necessary otherwise you'll just be a pain.
On the other hand, his robot Evangelion is an awesome piece of work that I enjoyed watching him pilot when things got tough and out of control, then it's inner potential and truly horrific nature was awakened and unleashed it's berserk mode in the gory fight scenes that were even too graphical and grim for me during the first time I saw it (but now I love it as it's like a hardcore anime version of "Transformers" but with more carnage). But anyway, frankly I daydream a lot to escape the harsh reality of life and most of the time I'd use my imagination to think up massive threats that only I could stop and be a hero for saving the day (there were also times I wanted to cause some chaos and destruction when I was anxious and frustrated, but only in my head! Not for real!. It also mattered whether it was over the top or based on shows I've watched). Finally I now strongly know that this was all just wanting to be noticed and accepted. But ironically it's also what I fear! This feeling is what I yearn for as well as avoid perhaps due to not feeling it enough sometimes (like back at School and College). I used my imagination to dream of cataclysmic fictitious disasters because it would be grand to be the hero because you don't see this happening in the real world! Don't you think so?!
ALEX MERCER - PROTOTYPE 1 & 2 (VIDEO GAMES)
Represents - Anger, Hatred, Truth Seeker, Attention Seeker and Imagination
This dark, shady man who was there when a dangerous virus outbreak was unleashed on New York City is the anti-hero of one of my favourite Xbox 360 video games. He was very fascinating not only does he have a connection to this disaster but after mysteriously losing his memory he woke up with his DNA metamorphosed and discovered he had extraordinary powers that allowed him to wall-run, slash, claw, punch and consume people thanks to becoming one with the virus but he only had one goal on his mind: finding the truth behind everything!
This game was beyond brutal due to the horrific bloody graphical violence and content overall. But beyond all that hardcore gaming fun, I found Alex Mercer interesting not only due to his astonishing powers (that even I have dreamed only in my head of using to harm those that hurt me and cause chaos when I am upset, hurt, anxious and angry) but also his dedication to finding out answers... answers that I too felt were being kept behind my back in my college times about friendships and feeling that I didn't belong with groups or specific people (though I wouldn't be violent about it).
Feeling this way does sound wrong, but it doesn't change how I felt! This doesn't make me a bad person (I hope) due to only imagining harm rather than causing physical chaos in the real world at all! Sometimes I felt like a "monster" or an "outcast" on days of sorrow and confusion. But most of the time I chose to change my negativity into escapism, as I mentioned above like using "Andrew's" power of flight to retreat to locations of beauty, to remind myself that all's not bad in this world despite feeling lost and out of place. I am not this dark anymore or as much, since I have begun taking things in my stride and not worrying about the small things and most of all thinking more positively has taken over my life now thanks to everyone that made 2013 and this year so amazing!
RAYMOND BABBITT - RAIN MAN (FILM)
Represents - Aspergers, Imagination, Life and Future
"Dustin Hoffman" pulled off I'd say an accurate display of "Autism" in general, in one of the best films I have ever seen called "Rain Man". "Tom Cruise" was the selfish man who discovered through his late father's will about a brother he never knew he had and the fact he was beyond different. The film showed me how people didn't know how to cope with people like Raymond (Dustin Hoffman) and also how Charlie (Tom Cruise) was amazed with Raymond's skill with numbers and that gave him an idea that was wrong but in the end turned out sweet in a way.
I saw this film with my mum after buying the DVD because people sometimes called me "Rain Man" and said I should watch it! I am beyond glad that I did, as not only does it relate to another beloved classic called "Forrest Gump" but it made me feel happy about the way I am. Not only am I not as Autistic as Raymond but that it isn't a curse, more of a skill! I never even knew the character was based on an actual person that "Dustin Hoffman" and the director "Barry Morrow" met named "Kim Peek" who had "" (similar to Aspergers Syndrome but more serious and people have exceptional skills in things like calculation, art, memory etc). I once checked out the "" to the film on Wikipedia and noticed how members of an Autistic Community found the film "a very popular and often inaccurate and harmful stereotype of autism". Now I understand where they're coming from but in a way we are talking about a condition that people, a long time ago, mostly thought those people might have been just "stupid" but boy were they wrong. I don't have many similar traits to Raymond other than my exceptional memory and attention to detail but there's no denying that I do focus and pay more attention to my skills which are remembering films/dates/events etc and playing video games as I love anything to do with IT. These things may not help me a lot in life but I feel happy to be this way since I have become more confident and learned to accept myself for the way I am and I have become less serious about my limitations!
ROXAS - KINGDOM HEARTS 358/2 DAYS & KINGDOM HEARTS II (VIDEO GAMES)
Represents - Self-Esteem, Life, Missing Link and Imagination
This game character from one of my favourite gaming series called "Kingdom Hearts" (which I shall be talking about all games sometime) and who I also cosplay as at The MCM London Expo is perhaps the character I feel linked with (like a Persona) and here's how.
In the game "Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days", Roxas was the empty shell that manifestedas a "Nobody" of the main character Sora (who died for a short time in the previous game), But in this game he was recruited by Organization XIII to be their tool in helping all other 12 members like him to become whole and live again! Although he became friends with two members "Axel" and "Xion" he enjoyed their missions and sunset days with them and in the end lost them but in the next game "Kingdom Hearts II", he learned of his true purpose and origin and he fixed the problem by doing the hardest right thing to do in order to help everyone.
I feel the link only because he is technically the missing link of the whole puzzle and by fixing that link (they) merged and became whole again after he found his purpose! I believe that too because when I'm confused or down about my future, I think that in time when all is well and I will have found my purpose in life, then it's because I overcame obstacles and found love and evolved into something better (if you see what I mean)?! Not only that, he's an interesting character to cosplay.
SORA - ALL KINGDOM HEARTS GAMES (EXCEPT KINGDOM HEARTS BIRTH BY SLEEP) (VIDEO GAMES)
Represents - Happiness, Perfection, Life and Imagination
The main hero from all the "Kingdom Hearts" games is my last character to explain. Sora is the boy with the keyblade and is the hero of many Disney world's in the Kingdom Hearts series. His quest takes him everywhere where he faced darkness and changed people's lives and he lost his memory once, while on a huge adventure with "Donald Duck" and "Goofy" to look for his 2 best friends: Riku and Kairi!
Everything I said about Roxas and Genie lead up to him. Sora represents my "Perfect Days" where my friends see me at my best and I feel so happy and smile a lot on a great day with them. Sora always smiles even though he has a huge responsibility, which is what I am trying to follow even when I'm at work or elsewhere and whether I am stressed or worried too. And since Roxas represents me feeling confused and out of place, as you can guess Sora is when I feel 100%.
I'd love to cosplay Sora someday!
All this jabbering seems weird right (mainly the fact that I relate myself to fiction characters) but then again it's not only because I speak from the heart but I wonder if you hear many other people speak like I just did that maybe aren't Autistic?
It feels funny yet relieving to come out and share these deep feelings with you lot!
But the outcome to this post is that I do have love and respect from everyone that likes and loves me for my true self, that is the right feeling!